Autism sailing challenge: getting the boat!

Having picked up the towing vehicle from Elaine at Western motors on a Friday evening, I headed back to our office in NUI Galway to pull up maps of our planned journey to pick up our new boat ‘Lea Ho’ in Callan, Co. Tipperary.

When we got to our office we pulled up google maps on one of our large screens and I started to explain in text and speech our journey. Conor was just ecstatic about the trip, if not a little “I’ll believe it when I see it” about the reality of having his own boat.

On the other hand, Eoin was quite concerned about the journey and was tracing it with his finger on the screen. I explained that we were going to use motor ways (Ireland’s highway system) all the way excepting the last couple of miles where we would divert to country roads.

Wait a minute Dad (one of Eoin’s most used phrases) said Eoin, are there any bridges across the motor way? Um, I guess so Eoin, scratching my head wondering why the question. How high is the boat Dad? I thought for a minute and said about 13 feet sitting on the trailer. That’s too high Dad, we will never make it!!!

Conor shoots a look over at Eoin, clearly lip reading and saying nothing. But you just know he wants to reach out and strangle him. Like as if he would know written all over his face. What’s the problem Eoin, I said. There are lots of bridges lower than that Dad, we will never get home! No I argued, that’s not true Eoin.

Look, I’ll show you Dad. And he pulls up a YouTube video called the definitive bridge crash compilation with 10 full minutes of every kind of bridge / trailer crash imaginable. Yes, leave it to YouTube to ruin everything. OK, OK, we will keep a very good look out on the way home. Will that be OK Eoin? Well, can I have your cell phone and sit in the back of the car? Sure I thought, given that it would be a 5 hour journey, and the farther away from his bristling brother the better it would be for all of us.

The following morning Val waived us off on our journey with a small tool kit and our handy 4 man tent. The trip was largely uneventful to Callan with the boys as good as gold. No doubt this was an adventure, collecting a boat, camping, meeting Maureen and Eamonn all added up to a fun excursion full of expectation. And this was our second trip down given that we had viewed the boat some weeks earlier.

Eoin was already on first name terms with Maureen and every mile we drove brought Conor closer to Lea Ho. However, when we left Callan for the final 10 miles to the boat, I started to lose my way. I say lose my way rather than be lost. Because how can you get lost with a state of the art sat nav with a screen big enough to watch Star Wars? How could that be possible?

From the back Eoin starts to look up. We’ve been here before Dad! Um maybe, we’re almost there I say as I check the screen again. No Dad, we’re lost. Get it? We’re lost!! Sure we were lost, but I wasn’t going to tell Mr. YouTube in the back seat that I have no sense of direction……

Suddenly, Eoin hands me my phone back. Its ringing dad he says with a chirp. And who was it? Maureen no less! This is great I thought. I’m not on my knees begging for directions, Maureen is just calling to see how we are getting on! So within 10 minutes we were ensconced in Physician’s town looking straight at Lea Ho with two happy campers. You see Eoin, I wasn’t lost after all!

Conor and Eoin headed off with Maureen while Eamonn and I prepped the boat together for the journey. Hours later, the boat was a maze of straps and ropes with everything from the stem to stern tied down and ready for final checks in the morning. And then for the mandatory meal of the day: Mc Donald’s.

A couple of hours later we returned to pitch our tent in the field behind the boat. This was our ‘little’ igloo 4 man tent which we erected in minutes and having piled in exhausted were asleep without a word. Come morning I was awoken by Conor kicking me from the tent door flap. I reached up and there was Conor eyeball to eyeball with one of several cows staring in at us with a kind of curious nonchalance that only cows possess. Conor was evidently not particularly concerned either as he rolled back into the tent. So much for my Sunday morning sleep in!

But at 5.00 am I was now awake and felt it best to check everything again ahead of the drive home. At 8.00 am Eamonn invited us in for breakfast with the boys for tea and wonderful homemade breads and preserves with a packed lunch carefully assembled for us on the road home. We all walked out of the house for our goodbyes and some photos to remember everyone by.

Boats are strange things. They are places were families come together for adventures, quality time and growth. They encompass memories of those special times and experiences that form part of what defines us as human beings. As Eamonn and their now two adult children helped to hitch Lea Ho to our truck, I could see Maureen on her own with her thoughts. And I knew she was quietly closing a chapter in her family’s life just as we opened a new one in ours. As autistic parents, with all the confusion and isolation that had once pervaded our lives, it is moments like these that truly affirm how connected we all are.

So off we went on our journey home, a steady if not blazing 30 miles per hour North to Dublin and then turning west across Ireland’s midlands. All the way home to Galway docks and Lea Ho’s new life. A life with the Dodd family and all that this will entail in the coming months. And ultimately home to warm showers and Val regaled with the stories of our adventure to get Lea Ho!

As is my habit, before I go to sleep I check my messages and emails to see what the morning will hold. And there it was in my messages, a short note to Maureen which simply read: Hey Maureen Eoin here. We are lost. We need directions. 

So much for serendipity.